From: Subject: COPING WITH HITCHHIKERS AND COUCH POTATOES ON TEAMS By Barbara Oakley Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 10:03:26 -0600 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Location: http://eceserv0.ece.wisc.edu/~morrow/ECE353/homework/coping_with.htm X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.5579 COPING WITH HITCHHIKERS AND COUCH POTATOES ON TEAMS = By Barbara Oakley

[originally obtained from http://ctl.sta= nford.edu/Tomprof/postings/441.html]
COPING WITH HITCHHIKERS AND COUCH POTATOES ON=20 TEAMS
By Barbara Oakley, Assistant Professor of = Engineering,=20 Oakland University, Rochester MI, <oakley@oakland.edu>. A longer = version=20 of this article, titled "It Takes Two to Tango," will appear in the = Journal of=20 Student Centered Learning, Volume 1, Issues 1, 2003, pg 19-28. New Forum = Press=20 http://www.newforums.com/news_jccpage.htm

You will usually find = your=20 university teammates as interested in learning as you are. Occasionally, = however, you may encounter a person who creates difficulties. This = handout is=20 meant to give you practical advice for this type of situation.

To = begin=20 with, let's imagine you have been assigned to a combined homework and = lab group=20 this semester with three others: Mary, Henry, and Jack. Mary is = okay-she's not=20 good at solving problems, but she tries hard, and she willingly does = things like=20 get extra help from the professor. Henry is irritating. He's a nice guy, = but he=20 just doesn't put in the effort to do a good job. He'll sheepishly hand = over=20 partially worked homework problems and confess to spending the weekend = watching=20 TV. Jack, on the other hand, has been nothing but a problem. Here are a = few of=20 the things Jack has done:

* When you tried to set up meetings at = the=20 beginning of the semester, Jack just couldn't meet, because he was too=20 busy.

* Jack infrequently turns in his part of the homework. When = he=20 does, it's almost always wrong-he obviously spent just enough time to = scribble=20 something down that looks like work.

* Jack has never answered = phone=20 messages. When you confront him, he denies getting any messages. You = e-mail him,=20 but he's "too busy to answer."

* Jack misses every meeting-he = always=20 promises he'll be there, but never shows up.

* His writing skills = are=20 okay, but he can't seem to do anything right for lab reports. He loses = the=20 drafts, doesn't reread his work, leaves out tables, or does something = sloppy=20 like write equations by hand. You've stopped assigning him work because = you=20 don't want to miss your professor's strict deadlines.

* Jack = constantly=20 complains about his fifty-hour work weeks, heavy school load, bad = textbooks, and=20 terrible teachers. At first you felt sorry for him-but recently you've = begun to=20 wonder if Jack is using you.

* Jack speaks loudly and = self-confidently=20 when you try to discuss his problems-he thinks the problems are everyone = else's=20 fault. He is so self-assured that you can't help wondering sometimes if = he's=20 right.

* Your group finally was so upset they went to discuss the = situation with Professor Distracted. He in turn talked, along with the = group, to=20 Jack, who in sincere and convincing fashion said he hadn't really = understood=20 what everyone wanted him to do. Dr. Distracted said the problem must be = the=20 group was not communicating effectively. He noticed you, Mary, and Henry = looked=20 angry and agitated, while Jack simply looked bewildered, a little hurt, = and not=20 at all guilty. It was easy for Dr. Distracted to conclude this was a=20 dysfunctional group, and everyone was at fault-probably Jack least of=20 all.

The bottom line: You and your teammates are left holding the = bag.=20 Jack is getting the same good grades as everyone else without doing any = work. Oh=20 yes-he managed to make you all look bad while he was at = it.

What this=20 group did wrong: Absorbing

This was an 'absorber' group. From = the=20 very beginning they absorbed the problem when Jack did something wrong, = and took=20 pride in getting the job done whatever the cost. Hitchhikers count on = you to act=20 in a self-sacrificing manner. However, the nicer you are (or the nicer = you think=20 you are being), the more the hitchhiker will be able to hitchhike their = way=20 through the university-and through life.

What this group = should have=20 done: Mirroring

It's important to reflect back the = dysfunctional=20 behavior of the hitchhiker, so the hitchhiker pays the price-not you. = Never=20 accept accusations, blame, or criticism from a hitchhiker. Maintain your = own=20 sense of reality despite what the hitchhiker says, (easier said than = done). Show=20 you have a bottom line: there are limits to the behavior you will = accept.=20 Clearly communicate these limits and act consistently on them. For = example, here=20 is what the group could have done:

* When Jack couldn't find time = to meet=20 in his busy schedule, even when alternatives were suggested, you needed = to=20 decide whether Jack was a hitchhiker. Was Jack brusque, self-important, = and in a=20 hurry to get away? Those are suspicious signs. Someone needed to tell = Jack up=20 front to either find time to meet, or talk to the professor.

* If = Jack=20 turns nothing in, his name does not go on the finished work. (Note: if = you know=20 your teammate is generally a contributor, it is appropriate to help if = something=20 unexpected arises.) Many professors allow a team to fire a student, so = the=20 would-be freeloader has to work alone the rest of the semester. Discuss = this=20 option with your instructor if the student has not contributed over the = course=20 of an assignment or two.

* If Jack turns in poorly prepared = homework or=20 lab reports, you must tell him he has not contributed meaningfully, so = his name=20 will not go on the submitted work. No matter what Jack says, stick to = your guns!=20 If Jack gets abusive, show the professor his work. Do this the first = time the=20 junk is submitted, before Jack has taken much advantage-not after a = month, when=20 you are really getting frustrated.

* Set your limits early and = high,=20 because hitchhikers have an uncanny ability to detect just how much they = can get=20 away with.

* If Jack doesn't respond to e-mails, answer phone = messages,=20 or show up for meetings, don't waste more time trying to contact = him.

*=20 Keep in mind the only one who can handle Jack's problems is Jack. You = can't=20 change him-you can only change your own attitude so he no longer takes = advantage=20 of you. Only Jack can change Jack-and he will have no incentive to = change if you=20 do all his work for him.

People like Jack can be skilled = manipulators. By=20 the time you find out his problems are never-ending, and he himself is = their=20 cause, the semester has ended and he is off to repeat his manipulations = on a=20 new, unsuspecting group. Stop allowing these dysfunctional patterns = early in the=20 game-before the hitchhiker takes advantage of you and the rest of your=20 team!

Henry, the Couch Potato

But we haven't = discussed=20 Henry yet. Although Henry stood up with the rest of the group to try to = battle=20 against Jack's irrational behavior, he hasn't really been pulling his = weight.=20 You will find the best way to deal with a couch potato like Henry is the = way you=20 deal with a hitchhiker: set firm, explicit expectations-then stick to = your guns.=20 Although couch potatoes are not as manipulative as hitchhikers, they = will=20 definitely test your limits. If your limits are weak, you then share the = blame=20 if you have Henry's work to do as well as your own. But I've Never Liked = Telling=20 People What to Do!

If you are a nice person who has always = avoided=20 confrontation, working with a couch potato or a hitchhiker can help you = grow as=20 a person and learn the important character trait of firmness. Just be = patient=20 with yourself as you learn. The first few times you try to be firm, you = may find=20 yourself thinking-'but now he/she won't like me-it's not worth the = pain!' But=20 many people just like you have had exactly the same troubled reaction = the first=20 few (or even many) times they tried to be firm. Just keep trying-and = stick to=20 your guns! Someday it will seem more natural and you won't feel so = guilty about=20 having reasonable expectations for others. In the meantime, you will = find you=20 have more time to spend with your family, friends, or schoolwork, = because you=20 aren't doing someone else's job along with your own.

Common=20 Characteristics that Allow a Hitchhiker or Couch Potato to Take=20 Advantage

* Unwillingness to allow a slacker to fail and = subsequently=20 learn from their own mistakes.

* Devotion to the ideal of 'the = good of=20 the team'-without common-sense realization of how this can allow others = to take=20 advantage of you. Sometimes you show (and are secretly proud of) = irrational=20 loyalty to others.

* You like to make others happy even at your = own=20 expense.

* You always feel you have to do better-your best is = never=20 enough.

* Your willingness to interpret the slightest = contribution by a=20 slacker as 'progress.'

* You are willing to make personal = sacrifices so=20 as to not abandon a hitchhiker-without realizing you are devaluing = yourself in=20 this process.

* Long-suffering martyrdom-nobody but you could = stand=20 this.

* The ability to cooperate but not delegate.

* = Excessive=20 conscientiousness.

* The tendency to feel responsible for others = at the=20 expense of being responsible for yourself.

A related = circumstance:=20 you're doing all the work

As soon as you become aware = everyone is=20 leaving the work to you-or doing such poor work that you are left doing = it all,=20 you need to take action. Many professors allow you the leeway to request = a move=20 to another team. (You cannot move to another group on you own.) Your = professor=20 will probably ask some questions before taking the appropriate=20 action.

Later on-out on the job and in your personal=20 life

You will meet couch potatoes and hitchhikers throughout = the=20 course of your professional career. Couch potatoes are relatively = benign, can=20 often be firmly guided to do reasonably good work, and can even become = your=20 friends. However, hitchhikers are completely different people-ones who = can work=20 their way into your confidence and then destroy it. Occasionally, a = colleague,=20 subordinate, supervisor, friend, or acquaintance could be a hitchhiker. = If this=20 is the case, and your personal or professional life is being affected, = it will=20 help if you keep in mind the techniques suggested = above.